Invisible

As Thanksgiving quickly approaches I wanted this blog post to focus around what I am thankful for. While I get frustrated at times and I wish things could be different, I do try to find something I am thankful for each day. It normally doesn't take long to think of at least one thing to be thankful for. Four years ago, just a couple weeks after Dad died, we had to face Thanksgiving. It was very difficult but I was thankful I had my Dad for 18 years and that we had a good relationship.    Some of these may sound cheesy or cliché but I am still thankful. I am thankful for my family. My Mom and sister do so much for me and they are so kind and caring. My Mom takes me to all of my appointments and helps me out in so many ways. I am thankful for my extended family who supports and helps out in any way and I can always count on having a good time at any gathering. I am thankful for my co-workers - they support me in many ways and I have made really good friendships at work. I am so than

I created this blog mainly for just blogging about my chronic illness but I occasionally will blog about the death of my dad. This past week on Wednesday, November 8 marked the anniversary of when Dad passed away. I still am trying to process how it has been 4 years. In some ways it seems like it all happened yesterday, but in other ways it seems like it has been so long since I have heard his voice, or laughed at his joke, or so much more. I had all these preconceived notions of what I would feel like and what the journey of grief would be like right after he died. I can tell you I was 100% wrong- no doubt about it. You often hear of people saying it gets easier with time, the truth is it doesn't get any easier, you just learn how to keep going. You learn to live your new normal without them. Grief doesn't just disappear and only come back on certain days. Many people compare grief to the ocean waves it's constantly there but sometimes its waves are big. There isn't a