Invisible

You hear this statement many times that everyone is different. Yet when something is wrong people suddenly forget that not one person on this earth is the exact same. Especially when you have health issues, people forget that not everyone is the same. How do I know this? Well it's pretty simple- I have people come up to me all the time saying -why don't you just walk more, my friend did that and her fibromyalgia is so much better. Well, I am different from your friend. Our fibromyalgia isn't the same and I have more going on than fibromyalgia. I am glad it works for your friend, but our bodies are different, so walking for me means pain and swelling and falling. Another example of when people forget you are different is when they say -  well my friend who has this illness cut gluten completely out of her diet and she barely has any pain. Well I am happy for your friend but that isn't my problem, so cutting gluten won't help me and I have already tried. Everyone alwa...

365 days and a picture is all it took for me to realize just how much I have declined in health. Yesterday was picture day at school. I didn't think anything about it until later that evening as I posted my picture on social media. After I uploaded it I just kinda froze a little bit. I remember picture day last year - I was walking. Yes, actually walking long distances and my body wasn't in as much pain. I was using the scooter and my wheelchair for long walks. I was tired but not anything like I am now. It's almost as if all of those symptoms have been doubled in a year. In the course of those 365 days I lost many things. I lost the ability to be able to walk into my house. Going up 4 little steps caused me to pass out and fall and get sick. My church built a ramp for me to get into the house which mom pushes me up in the wheelchair. I am so thankful for that ramp. Also sometime in that 365 days I had to become so dependent on the wheelchair and scooter. I could no longer ...

I feel like I have two jobs instead of just one. I am not the only one that feels like this, many people with chronic illness and pain deal with this. I love my real job and that is the job I love to do. My "other job" is being a patient to all these doctors. I don't enjoy that job at all. I used to really only go to the doctor for once a year checkups and the occasional visit for being sick. Now I have some type of doctor appointment usually at least once a month. This summer there was about a 5 week period where I didn't have any doctor appointment and it was amazing! I finally had a break - but not really! I didn't have appointments in that time but about once a week, sometimes more, I have to do something. Sometimes I have to refill prescriptions and that can be a process if that doctor is out, or insurance doesn't want to be helpful. I have to schedule appointments, and message or call doctors if there is an issue with my health. I have to go to a doctor ...